>> Tuesday, August 28, 2007
it was a mixture then?& my mood when over and up.
and over and down?
understand neither do me.
school was a rather wet today
reach school, soaked.
from hair to shoes.
& it was rather fun. hakh?
and there it was, after school
having the maths clinic.
& what do lily say about maths clinic.?
she says that is only for people who is SICK
from doing mathematics.
oh hell yeah right.
it was yet shitty to be the tutor.
& more shitty doing nothing there.
hanging out with friends is yet great.
but bare in mind, do they help you EVERY TIME?
hmm. i guess not.
and every time i am being blame.
so what am i here?
im just a burden, am i?
and a McDonald's,
i sat & wait.
wait wait.
but yet it was fun & okay.
with the ultra big size guys?
haha.
thanks azhar from sec 1i
for treating me & gang mcflurries and 4 large fries:)
hell rich yeah.
at then. now?
i found out i lost my calculator.
1st calculator, had an disease of spoiled buttons.
now lost.
& so nags happens.
im being blame.
telling that,
the money can spend on something more beneficial.
and so?
how about yourself?
spend on cigarettes.
and if you count the money that you spent on them,
i can buy MORE BENEFICIAL STUFF!
dumbass?
whatever.
i know im a burden.
everytime i tried to change,
it hurts.
they didnt believe.
i know SHE is like much more better than me.
i so know now.
or before?
so what.
i feel the hurt more.
the soreness.
treating me dirt.
shit. & ass.
i tried to care & change.
& so it is so easy for me to change to bad.
inside me, deep inside.
mixtures of feelings & thoughts.
and i stray from love.
im nothing.
a dirt.
a dust.
a dump.
a rubbish.
im such of burden.
im useless.
so what can i say.
i am all that.
you cant say im not.
i cant even make you pleased.
or even happy or smile.
i cant even help you.
im careless.
i cant even make you to like me,
yet i make you even hate me.
SHE can make you happy.
i guess.
& when i listen to my favourite songs,
just to cool me down.
cause even the close ones cant even calm me
nor comfort me.
cause even the loves ones cant neither.
& even me cant calm myself.
i write & draw expressing myself.
nobody even know what i feel now or before or after.
soon,
neither me know.
i dont know no more.
i know nothing no more.
help? i drown.
deena;
The memory journey.Y
"Dilemma never ends
neither it starts
the love that lends
you got no guts.
The hurt i feels
i confuse i think
the tore it brings
my heart sinks.
Who and why
do them care
do all of this is a lie
the feeling i couldnt bare.
I do felt abandon in times
when you ignore me
must a poem rhymes
& yet i felt like im not me.
-so again neglect every feelings i had, please."
wrote by:dinah syaza.
so yet again,
blame it on me.
sorry.
5:33 AM;
smacked me up.
smacked me up.